And Miles To Go Before I Sleep...

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening
By Robert Frost

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there's some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

This poem by Robert Frost really resonates with me. I always feel that I want to stop and smell the roses, yet there is always so much that I have promised to do I rarely have time to even be ill even though I suffer from lupus and a few other autoimmune illnesses. I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep. I can tell you that today for the first time in a while I felt really awful. No energy. Like a rag doll. Bu I still worked on two projects, did my spiritual geography work and my soul writing (see Janet LOL!) and took my son to his college class today since his car is on the fritz and nobody drives mommy's car but mommy! House rules.

It is only 8:15, but I feel like it is midnight and I am going to go to bed now. I may wake up at 4 AM, but it will be quite for at least 2 hours before the kids get up for school and I can continue to get some work done. There are some days I need to take naps...yes like I'm a 90 year old woman! What 39 year old needs to take a NAP! I am so frustrated with being chronically ill and even though my well meaning friends have told me that I am healed I'm here to tell you, I am not Am I better? Oh, God yes! And praise Jesus for that...this time last year I could barely sit up on my own let alone travel and do the things I'm doing now. But things that used to take little or no effort, take so much effort now. When I come home from a business trip, I am pretty much out of commission for two entire weeks, period. It happens every time. I know lupus and my other illnesses cause fatigue...but this is outrageous and just imagining living this way another 10 years or so does not bring a smile to my face, that's for sure. But I'm alive, I'm here and yes God...I am grateful even when I complain, feel horrible and can not lift my head off of the pillow. So for all of you that are healthy; praise God for your continued health. I never thought at 37 I would become so ill and that it would change my life so drastically. Life throws us many curve balls, the only thing we can do is close our eyes and swing the bat...praying for a base hit or maybe even a home run. Stay Blessed! Jacqueline Foreman