People Pleasing: The Big Mistake We All Make

Okay everyone...have u ever tried to make everyone in your life happy but no matter what it never seems to work? I can not tell you how many times I have tried to make my parents happy, my sibilings happy, my kids happy, my husband happy and my friends happy...all to no avail. I always end up doing something wrong, even if my intentions are good. So I've learned something in this last year. It came to me when I was in the hospital last July on life support...yes that's right...life support. I was 38 and they told my family I was done...toast...not going home and that I would be dead in a matter of days. They asked my husband if he wanted to take me off of life support and just "let me go". Now keep in mind, at the time we were estranged, but he loved me enought to say "No, give her time. She is a fighter." We discussed 100 times that if I was ever on a ventilator that he would take me off because I am so claustrophobic the idea of having a tube shoved down my throat does not make me happy. I even had a DNR and a living will. But he left me on life support for three weeks even though they asked him daily to take me off.

And then one day...I woke up. I didn't know where I was and I instinctively reached for the tube and tried to pull it out of my throat. My husband and Dad held my hands down and they screamed for a nurse. I couldn't talk and when I would cough or gag a bell went off like a phone was ringing...that was weird. I wanted to pull that thing out so bad. I just remember tears streaming down my face and when the nurses and doctors ran in they could NOT believe that I was awake but trying to yank the ventilator out of my throat LOL! I remember my dad being so happy and relieved and Lee said "I told you she was a fighter."

I spent two more days on that horrible vent and then they finally took it out and four days later I went home. I have lost about 3 years of my life...not just the six weeks I was out of it. I have to use a navigational system just to get around my own neighborhood where I purchased my home at 19 (I am now 39!) But...I am ALIVE.

So when I was in that state between being here and not being here I had strange "dreams". Or, maybe they were not dreams at all? I remember being told that I was not put on this earth to please anyone but God and that he loved me and was pleased with me (man, was I happy to hear that!!) In fact he was so pleased that he was sending me back to continue doing my radio show. Yes, God wants me to air a show on Mental Health LOL! I have NO IDEA why but I keep doing it and people keep listening...more than I can even imagine at times!

I'm sure he may not like all my guest choices, but I'm sure he knows that I can only discuss suicide and depression for so long before I have to lighten up and have someone like LaMont Sanford on i.e. actor Demond Wilson! I was also told that I take things too seriously, that I need to laugh more...make others laugh and "lighten up" that I was way too intense. Hmmm....well I am a Scorpio and I can be pretty intense. So either I was delusional while I was in my little coma or I was really talking to someone...you decide.

I think someone was actually talking to me and preparing me to "come back" and continue the work I was put here to do. Love others, even the unlovable. Love myself. Love God. Love my family and friends. Trust that everything happens for a reason. Don't try to be a people pleaser. I hope that you do not have to go into a coma to learn the lessons that I did...and I pray that you are never on a ventilator, they are God awful machines! And if you have the time I want to suggest something to you. I have a friend who is an author and she wrote a book called Writing Down Your Soul: How To Activate and Listen to The Extrodinary Voice Within. The website is at http://www.writingdownyoursoul.com/ This is NOT simply a book about journaling or blogging...it is soooo much more than that. She aired on my show on July 27th (my 20th wedding anniversary) here is the link, she was marvelous: http://tinyurl.com/ku98hh I use her method at least 4 times a week, sometime more in my own private journal. It is an AMAZING spiritual process.

But, right now I am getting ready for her to come back on the air with me to discuss her Spiritual Geography Series on September 28th at 8 PM ET. I am going through the process now and it is VERY eye opening and has changed me a lot even though I still have so much more to do. There are three work books and a lot of info on the website. It is a life changing experience to say the least. You can find out more about Spiritual Geography at http://www.spiritualgeography.com/ it looks overwhelming at first but it really isn't once u start working with it and use the website with the books. Tune in to the show on September 28th again at 8 PM ET to find out more and add Janet Conner as a friend on face book...she is quite a lady and someone I have learned a lot from...no more people pleasing! Thank you Janet...I am FREE!!! Jackie Foreman